For the sake of variety, I'm throwing in a touch of Julius Caeser. Like that ill-fated ruler, I found myself this week alone, in a place of ultimate temptation. I was even done-in (so to speak) by those I thought to be my friends.
Specifically: I was in Vicksburg, MS for a business trip. For those of you who don't know Vicksburg, it's a lovely town. With casinos (five of them), and some really fantastic restaurants. Day 1 was pretty good. I was fine while on the road. Dinner at El Sombrero was fantastic, and I only went off the deep end a little by eating a few tortilla chips. In fact, I even made it to bed early and got some work done to boot, so I considered day 1 of the trip a success.
Day 2 was my time time in the Senate. My host is a large man. If you look at my beginning photos, double the size, and make me about 6'3" tall, you'll have an idea. He told me Thursday morning he had a surprise planned for our lunch that day (the "best in Vicksburg"), which of course sounded like what I would have done on my own anyway. Little did I know, but Brutus was going to take me to the Heritage Buffet at the Ameristar Hotel & Casino. The worst part was, I thought I was going to be okay. Each of the separate serving areas had vegetables. Lots of vegetables. There was also a salad bar. I felt pretty good sitting down at the table with my first real plate, that consisted of 80% "steamed vegetables" and a small portion of pesto pasta ( < 1/2 a cup). Then I noticed something about the vegetables other than how delicious they tasted. I put "steamed vegetables" in quotes (twice now), because I've never had "steamed vegetables" that had been drizzled in a cup of butter. And that was just on the serving I had taken.
I would've been okay STILL at that point, except this little voice inside me started whispering, "how bad can it be? Really! How bad? It's still a huge portion of vegetables!" So I ate them. And I went back for more.
Round two was a plate of "steamed Italian vegetables." Different veggies. Still beyond delicious. And they didn't appear to be soaked in butter. These were soaked in Olive Oil. Again, the little voice whispered, "how bad can it be? It's just a plate of vegetables...and olive oil is supposed to, well sorta, be good for you." So I ate them. All of them.
Et tu, Brute? Fortunately, I managed to get out without eating much else. But I believe the damage was done there. It set the stage for the night, at any rate. I mean, I already was "off" the diet a little, why not have a little treat? Famous last words, as I left for dinner several hours later, Brutus' knife still in my back.
Dinner was fantastic. The Beechwood Restaurant & Lounge is a local landmark that you simply must visit if you're in town. We were directed here as opposed to Ruth's Chris steakhouse, one of my favorites of all time, so don't think we were "cheaping out" or anything. If you ever visit, there's a guy at the front door in a booth that houses The Grill. It's amazing- this guy cooks steaks made-to-order, and he is just fun to watch do it. I didn't get a steak, although I was tempted. In fact, I even ate what I would have considered to be a "good" meal- sushi-grade yellow fin tuna (medium rare), a salad, and a few oysters on the half shell (a "few" as in 3- they still just taste like flavored snot to me...sorry, I'm not an oyster connoisseur)! Unfortunately, there's just no way I got out of that meal for less than 1,000 calories. No way. But it was delicious.
As I'm sitting here recounting it all, it really doesn't read all that bad. Like maybe I'm beating myself up too badly. Like maybe I thought I'd gained weight this week. I didn't. But I could've lost so much more had I been truly good as opposed to faking myself out.
So why am I so irritated with myself? It's that exact process of "faking myself out" for at least the last 5 years (if not 10-12) that got me where I started this journey. Fat. Horrifically, morbidly obese. That pisses me off. After the last 55 days, I really thought I had moved beyond that. That it wouldn't matter what situation I'd find myself in, I'd somehow find a way to eat the best thing in any situation. I certainly wasn't horrible on my trip, but I could've been better. Way better.
Anyway, it's over with, time to pick myself up and refocus.
Weight today: 292.4 lbs (-0.8 pounds). No measurements this week. I'm about half-way through my BeachBody Power90 workout, so more pictures in a couple of weeks!
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