Day Zero

I will be honest up front so I can reserve the right to lie later: I have no idea what I'm doing here.  I am a private person, I do not like to air my laundry in public, nor does it excite me to think of anyone who sees this and their reaction to it.  That said, my wife blogs, and she really enjoys it, and I am sort of jealous that she has this record of events that have occurred in her (our) life that are uniquely written from her perspective.  For the record, I like her blog.  I would never be able to maintain the positive outlook she does, however, so if my attempt at this turns dark on a regular basis, I consider you having been warned.


So what is the point of this?  Total transformation.  I had what many people would consider a fairytale upbringing, from birth through high school.  During college, things got a little off track (or so I have thought occasionally over the years since), but as my wife likes to remind me, "if I hadn't made the choices I made back then, we never would have met or been married, or had two lovely kids, etc., etc..."


And she's right. 


But that doesn't mean I have to stay on a sinking boat that is my health, either.  Choices I made then and since have put me in an untenable position. Specifically: I am morbidly obese: 5' 10" tall, 342.6 pounds at my last weigh-in.  This gives me a BMI of about 1000. Seriously, it's off the chart you see most often published, so it might as well be a googol.  I take two blood pressure medications, a statin, and a daily aspirin.  I have to get a note from my doctor to have my teeth cleaned at the dentist (WTF?!).  This is my life at 36, because at 29, I had what the doctor said was "the smallest possible heart attack and still qualify as one."


Despite all of the above, I still smoke, drink, and party like a rock star.  And why?  I do have a stressful job, the responsibility of being the sole bread-winner in the family, and a need for things to be "perfect" when I take the time to do them.  So "blowing off steam" is a common excuse I use to indulge the behaviors that are killing me.  But for cryin' out loud, I don't take excuses from other people, why should I take my own?


So this is it.  iTransformation.  My effort to get right health-wise before I get old enough where I just won't be motivated to do it, or the Reaper comes a day too early and I won't have a chance.  I'm going to record it with the idea that maybe I'll publish it sometime later, and someone else will benefit from my experiences.  What I really want to write it for, is to prove something to myself, though.  More on that some other time. 


January 22, 2012 Weight: 342.6; Days On Track: 1