A Traveling I Go! A Traveiling I Go! Hi-HOLY SEA BASS!

I've been watching that show FatChef on Food Network.  The concept appeals to me, because it's a show about good food and horrifically obese chefs losing weight.  While Cooking.  And Eating.  Which I imagine is like being an alcoholic working in a liquor store and having to take a taste from every bottle as they leave the store.  It's usually a pretty good show, but I've been noticing some trends so far (3 episodes):

• The Guys go gung-ho, but while their 16 week weight loss is pretty awesome, they tend to ease up toward the end of it
• The Women can't hack it
• People who work with food are either incredible Stress Balls, or they lack proper coping skills (or maybe both)

Okaaaay, I slipped the second one in there hoping no one would notice. But it's true on the show. So far, not one of the women has made their goal, and 2 of the 3 men have (the 3rd slacked off between weeks 10 and 16, but still lost ~80 pounds out of his goal of 96).  In fact, the women have been sorry by comparison.  It's a fact.  Watch the show.  I know that I would be dead meat if I was a chef- I would weigh 800 pounds.  Within 24 hours. 

I'm glad I do what I do.  It's safer. Someday, maybe I'll write about some of the "safe" things that have happened over the last few years- it's unbelievable stuff.  The part of my job I truly enjoy is recruiting.  I spent a couple of days at Auburn University (War Eagle!) this week recruiting business and supply chain majors.  Basically, I was looking for some aggressive, hungry fresh-outs to be fed to the grist mill that is my company.  I found a bunch.  I love going to Auburn- the students there are always impressive without being arrogant (this is a real problem these days), and the career services folks there are among the best in the world.  Great southern hospitality all around.  Did I mention I love Auburn?  Funny note: I never would have admitted that until last year, what with being a Bulldog fan and all.  ROFL 

These little trips always involve two things that I enjoy: happy hour and dinner with old and new friends.  When I'm going somewhere I've been before, like Auburn, I usually arrive the night before the actual event (expo, job fair, whatever you want to call it), and arrange dinner with people I know there, and any candidates I can identify based on referral.  This week, we ate at Arricia, which is located in The Hotel at Auburn.  I love this place.  Great service, great food.  'Nuff said.  It wasn't even too hard to be "good," what with all of the seafood options they have.  I recommend the sea bass.  I definitely did not go hungry!  Plus, this group of previous and (hopefully) future interns and full-timers (re: grist) was exceptionally entertaining and had no trouble carrying the conversation.  I like that.  I hate feeling like I have to drive conversation at a table larger than six.  Six I can handle.  I have a big mouth.  More than that, and it feels like I'm performing instead interacting.  If I've got to "mush" a dog sled through dinner, there won't be many offers for that crew, LOL

Anyway, it was a successful trip, both from a professional and caloric standpoint.  I even packed my Power90 workout DVD and did the dreaded yoga (and cardio program) in the hotel room.  TADA!  I'm so stinkin' proud of myself.  Time to go celebrate with...50 minutes of cardio! LOL

Still on track, still in the burn zone, 32 days in the bag! Weigh-in tomorrow, pictures (maybe) tomorrow!

I shall taunt you a SECOND TIME! BAM!!

Long, long after King Leonidas' fateful battle at the Hot Gates, King Arthur began his quest for the Holy Grail.  Long, long, LONG after that, Monty Python spoofed that famous quest, and even longer after that, someone thought it would be a good idea to make a Broadway Musical out of that spoof.  Sometime after that, the spoofed musical toured the country to rave reviews, and that is how it figures prominently in my post this week; thanks to my mother-in-law, we scored tickets to the show in Charlotte, NC last Saturday night, after feasting Emeril Legasse's new restaurant E2.

Wha-tha-wha?! How does that fit into the iTransformation?  The short answer is that it MUST.  If I can't go to a restaurant like this without obliterating the week's hard-won gains (losses?), then this whole thing is doomed to fail.  I might as well pack it in, and continue packing on the weight, because I am NOT giving up the Glory of High End Foodie Craving!  Period. <--there it is. 

I am happy to report that I did not blow the whole week of workouts in one meal.  I didn't exactly deprive myself of anything (although I did skip dessert, because nothing on the dessert menu was really "speaking" to me), but I did make a concerted effort to eat "better" than I would have a couple of months ago.  That meant having the sea scallops instead of the aged New York strip.  It meant having the tuna crudo instead of half a dozen fried starters.  I even tried the gumbo (loooove Emeril's gumbo of any kind). 

I got close to going off the deep end with the rolls, however.  From prior posts, you already know that I love rolls (twice-slathered in butter, the only way to "roll"), but E2 had these potato rolls with a salty glaze that were the equivalent of eating soft pretzels dipped in butter, and covered in Crack.  Literally, crack.  There were tiny pieces of "rock" (salt) on the skin of the rolls.  Mmmmmmmmmm...BAM!!  I had two before I realized what was happening.  Once I caught myself, I stopped.  Barely.  I think I was drooling as the bread basket made a third trip around the table and I didn't partake.  I was definitely moaning, "brrrrreaaaaaaaaaad." Or maybe it was just a dull roar in my head, I can't be sure.  It must be what Zombies hear after they turn.  I'm really just happy I staved off disaster. 

So the meal was Glorious.  There is no other way to describe it.  From the wine, to the starters, to the main course, it was fantastic.  I asked our server at least three times if we could please, please, just have a spork and stand at the pass in the kitchen and taste everything going out.  Everything was amazing.  A quick word on the yellowfin crudo:  raw yellowfin tuna, pounded flat, and seasoned so well, it was like eating bat tongue.  But it was a huge bat tongue the size of a small serving plate.  I almost ordered a second dish.  Raw tuna not your thing?  Emeril has put together a menu that will appease any palette.  Like I said, 'twas GLORIOUS.  I shall return.

After that event, you can imagine that I was sweating my weigh-in on Sunday.  Just a little.  Fortunately, I knocked out another good week- 3 pounds down, to a total of 305.  Also lost another inch off my waist measurement (now at 53.25), which is always good to see on the graph from the Gadget.  I was sort of "expecting" a plateau this week, but after continuing to lose weight while eating at E2, I'm not "expecting" another one.  This is way too much fun. 

It was especially fun, because I hadn't seen my Outlaws since Christmas, when I weighed in at 342.  They were sort of surprised at how successful I've been so far.  Especially when I didn't deprive myself of anything the entire time we were there.  Now, I'll admit, I was not as Spartan with my eating as I have been over the last three weekends, but I didn't go crazy either.  I also "previewed" the next level of the Power90 program (Level 3-4), and I jumped into the 3-4 Circuit today (ouch), so my workouts didn't suffer.  I DID take a day off- it ended up being Friday, but hey, I was driving for 7 hours! 

Quick recap: great weekend, great experience at E2, thanks to the Outlaws, love the road I'm on!!

Weight: 305 (-37.6 lbs), Waist: 53.25 (-6.55"), BMI: 43.8 (-5.4); Days on Track: all of them.

Twice-Bettered Rolls & You(Gotta)Go, Yoga!

I love rolls.  Slathered in warm butter, allowed to soak in, and then slathered again. Glorious.  That's what I was craving the other night as I stepped onto the elliptical for another game of "stay above 55 rpm."  It took my mind off the "rolls" as usual, but I encountered another sort that evening.  During that session, I rolled the mileage counter for the second time, meaning I exceeded mile 99.9 (it only records up to that amount, and then rolls to zero).  That's the second time now, in three weeks.  I've been on the elliptical for over 200 miles?  That's crazy to me- it's the equivalent of "ellipticalling" from my front door into downtown Atlanta. 

The really awesome part, is that I rolled it after 7.6 sessions this time, as opposed to the 13.4 previous ones to get the first rollover.  I am noticing that it's getting easier, but it still feels pretty effective. I'm probably ready to jack up the tension a little (I run it at level 6, manual), or maybe I should start doing some intervals or something.  There's just something nice about putting in 50 minutes at one speed, and doing the warm-up and cool-down off the machine.  50 minutes also happens to be the perfect length for the Starz show Spartacus.  Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? LOL! 

For now, I think I'll leave well enough alone.  I'm more concerned with how my limited amount of Yoga is affecting me.

With the exception of the last decade where I really let myself go, I worked out for literally years for my entire life before that.  Not just running and lifting weights, but doing crazy stuff, like pushing SUVs across parking lots, lunging the football field with 135 pounds on my back, duck-walking the stadium steps...real crazy stuff!  It was awesome, at least what I remember, and it hurt.  I had this buddy back then- he played D-End and I played linebacker on the same side of the field, and he and I would subject each other to the most painful stuff we could devise.  You have to remember, nobody had invented "Insanity" or P90X or anything like it.  We were doing this stuff on our own, and the idea was to make it HURT.  Now that I'm a little older, and hurting isn't my goal per se, I'm surprised we survived it all. 

Which brings me to my point.  Yoga hurts.  It makes me feel stupid.   I only have to do about 5 minutes of it as part of the warm-up in the cardio part of my Power90 workout, so we're talking 15 minutes/week at most.  There are five poses I can think of, off the top of my head: downward dog, upward-facing dog, plank (this is really a yoga pose?), warrior, and chosen one.  I'm not looking these up to see if they're real poses, it's what the guy leading the workout calls them.  By the time I've moved from downward-dog-with-leg-raised (huh?!) to chosen one, I can barely see. 

Assuming I haven't already fallen over. 

I feel like an elephant lifting one leg after the other, and expecting as I return to the first leg, that it's still in the air, and I'm airborne.  And I'm not, so I sigh and start over with the lifting of the legs again, thinking, "this time, it'll be different."  Definition of insanity? Yes.

It was really starting to piss me off.  So much so, that I actually raged through all of the different moves this morning for the first time since I started (without falling over), and I almost called the rest of the workout off, because I was breathing harder than I did during all but the most intense parts of the rest of the workout!  Yes, I RAGED through it. After up-down-dog, ass-in-the-air for the third time, I was wobbling on my arms, and I just got so mad at myself, because this is supposed to be a warm up, and I can barely handle it, that I just decided to finish it.  At pace.  Without falling over.  And I did.  So naa-naa-naa-naanaanaa!  And then I found out there's even MORE yoga in the next level of the program.  AAAARGH!!! Zumba Ninja is starting to look good.

Anyway, it's weigh-in day: I'm 308.0 (-34.6 pounds), waist: 54" (-5.5").  It's day 21 with the gadget, 9 more until I take some pictures!  Days on track: all of them!

BEHOLD the GLORY!

No, this is not the Three Week Reveal.  Sorry to disappoint you.  I'm still considering whether to do a 30 day "check" or not.  No, that's not really true either, I'm really debating whether to SHARE the 30 day status with anyone.  I'll probably do it.  Or not.  I dunno.  Leave me alone on that, I'm still not all that comfortable here.  At least my a$$ is getting smaller, so it's not 'cuz I don't fit in the chair I'm sitting in!


The actual reason for the title of this post, is for me to share a personal epiphany I had yesterday.  Most of you will think it is so dumb, I wouldn't share it, except you all think I'm the son of a guy who died in 480 BC, so I feel confident you won't judge me for it.  And with that luxurious introduction: "People don't miss you when you're not at work for 14 hours, they only miss you when they need you at work."  Wow.  Earth-shattering, eh?  I guess that's why the term "core hours" was coined (originally, before bosses found out they could beat you up by making the start time before breakfast, and the end time after dinner)! 


As part of my Two-A-Days, I've been getting up earlier to work out, but because of the timing, I'm also getting to work just a shade earlier than my peers.  By a "shade," I mean, my car's engine is still cooling down, I've just turned on my office light, and they are pulling into the lot.  But for whatever reason, it's created some slack for me.  I am pretty sure it relates to one of my all-time pet peeves that I may share later on, but this is a conversation I overhead Tuesday as I was walking out the door at around 4:15 pm (early for me, normally).  Why was I leaving early?  Long-story-short: so I could get home to watch the kids while my Zumba-Teaching wife can go teach "latin jazzercise" to the plebeians of our fine town (see below).  Basically that conversation went like this:
Peer#1: "Is that Oly leaving?" 
Peer#2: "That dude? He's been here since before ME, and you KNOW how long I work!"
Peer#1: "No sh*t?! He's worked 12 hours today already!"
Peer#2: "More like 13!" [noticing me noticing them] "See ya, Oly!"
Me: "Don't you guys have anything better to do than smoke ciggies at 4:15?"
Peer#2: "Uh, heh heh, yeah! Have a good night!"


For the first time in at least 11 years, I don't feel bad leaving with the sun still up.  I do have to take my laptop home on those days and check to make sure none of the True Asshats to the company aren't trying to send out some crazy manifestos to anyone after hours (and after happy hour), but I take it home most nights, so that's no surprise.  I kinda like having it, even if I just flip it on and let it sit next to me, the glow illuminating my face (I fear I am addicted to it).


Back to the Zumba for a moment- yes, you read correctly, my wife is a Licensed Zumba instructor.  Her Zumba Name is: Dances With Jangles.  Yes, I weighed 313.6 pounds on Sunday.  No, I do not go to her class.  Yet.  To be honest I probably NEVER will).  Yes, she is small enough, that if I roll over in bed, I may suffocate her in a wad of clay-like flesh.  At least the risk is not as great now as it was 3 weeks ago.  If I DID roll over, she'd do some Ninja Zumba and boot my a$$ out of bed, though, so I wouldn't worry about her.  What's "Ninja Zumba?"  It's a secret.  A dark secret.  No, better yet, a Dark Art.  The Dark (re:LOUD) Arts of the Zumba Ninja- hiYAAA! BETO SHUFFLE! You should take her class.  You too can be a Zumba Ninja.  Just 45 minutes/week, and you can weigh 103 pounds!  It's true! Just look at her-


THIS IS HIS WIFE! HE IS MAKING FUN OF ZUMBA, AND YOU SHOULD NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAYS.  ZUMBA IS FUN, IT WORKS, AND I LOVE TEACHING IT!  COME TO MY CLASS! IF HE IS A REAL MAN HE WILL LINK TO MY ZUMBA FACEBOOK PAGE!!


Ouch- she did some Zumba Ninja Sh*t on me, and I just woke up with that lovely message added to my post.  I dare not delete it, and I better not push my luck.  You never know when the Zumba Ninja "Dances With Jangles" will call in reinforcements, and a full-blown Latin Line Dancing Party will break out! <shudder>


To be honest, I do like the music.  It's mostly fun stuff. 


Days on Track: 17.  Three Two-A-Days in the bag this week, oh yeah, baby!  My gut is really shrinking fast- I could probably pull my pants up a little and hide what's left...but I don't want the office mates getting too crazy with all the "dude, you're wasting away!" comments just yet...so I leave the little flap of the front porch out for now...it's like the "welcome mat," heh heh heh!

Return of the Hometown Area Code

313.  That was the area code where I grew up in Michigan, on the far west side of Detroit.  Still a 'burb of The D, but a solid 30 minute drive from downtown.  It's also my weight today.  29 pounds and counting- and with apologies to the Marines (I never served)- OORAH!

So, the Feast is On.  My lovely, picture-crazy wife snapped this pic below before the Mongolian horde that is my family dug in:

I'm stuffed, and it's only 3:28 pm!  I'd show an after pic, but suffice it to say that there ain't no fruit left, and there ain't but a few broccoli things left.  My daughter ate most of the mango, dang her, but she did offer me the last bite (thanks, honey).  I should've bought two!  Just glad the kids and wife are on board with the healthier eating!

Three hours from game time, and I'm geeked.  I love the Super Bowl.  it's the only game with pageantry and drama that lives up to billing every year.  Even when the game isn't always the greatest (I'm thinking of the Patriots' showing against da Bears in 1985, ouch), the party and all things associated with the game more than compensate.  And even in a blowout there's drama.  Remember William "The Refrigerator" Perry burrito-rolling across the goal line in the waning moments, a site that will live with me forever, all at the expense of letting Walter Payton score a Super Bowl touchdown.  Payton was a class act about it, but watching the flab fly as The Fridge dove for the corner...ugh...and to think at the time I said to myself "I'll never get THAT big!" LOL

So here we go- two meals down, calories on track, I hit the elliptical already, and I'm writing this- what a great day.  I may even link today's sermon to my blog at some point.  It's been that good of a day- even the preacher gets some props.  I don't mean to sound like an a$$hole, but I'm pretty critical in my old age, LOL

14 days on Track.  Weight: 313.6 (-29 pounds), Waist: 55.5 (-4 inches).  Go, baby, go!

Additional Proof:  This is a screenshot from my iPod of my Super Bowl day:

(Yes, I'm still working on the "sleep" thing...)

Starving the Super Bowl

Last weekend was tough for me, food-wise.  With so much time on my hands, and a virtually unlimited cornucopia of choices, I was happy to get through the weekend without driving the diet bus off a cliff.  This weekend is already tougher.  It's Super Bowl Eve, and I've had a dozen different foods today, but I've managed to limit the quantity of each, so I'm still in the calorie deficit zone, to the tune of 3,300 calories.  +1 Point to me (so far). Tomorrow is a different story.


Super Bowl Sunday, for me, has always been a party.  And I don't mean a "nice time," I mean an up-at-dawn-drinking-bloodies-all-day-drunk-and-food-fest.  As a professional drinker, I don't get "hungover" like the rest of the population, but I'm still in favor of an Executive Order making the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday.  Come on, Washington- do something right for a change, LOL!!  Barring a national holiday, some day I will be in a corporate leadership position, and my first act will be to make it a company holiday.  I can't imagine a smarter morale-builder than that.  Realistically, and I have worked in manufacturing my entire life, who wants a bunch of hung over people building anything?  Nobody.  Heck, outside of manufacturing, do you want someone who is hungover doing ANYthing for you the next day?  Think chicken nuggets hitting the floor en route to the drive through...


But back to the thread, my SBS has to change if I am going to change.  Tomorrow, unlike the previous, oh, 30 Super Bowls, I am not going to be living out some Dionysian Fantasy, gorging myself like a Sumo Wrestler in the off season, and drinking like a fish all day.  It's going to be weird.  But it's going to be healthy.  -Ish.  The key for me is quantities.  My plan is to not deny myself any of the goodies we're planning for the party tomorrow, but to have "just a sample."  Like a stroll through Costco on Saturday, the moveable feast without the volume.  I've already paired my iPod to the Gadget, so I can record each hors d'oeuvre as the day progresses. 


Sounds like a recipe for disaster, eh? 


Okay, so I'm not being completely honest- the hors d'oeuvres we are serving are of the fresh fruit and vegetable variety.  Instead of my famous nachos, we're having high fiber and low-fat cheese quesadillas dipped in my Frank's Red Hot-based spicy sauce.  Instead of "Meat Dip," we're having my lovely wife's Chicken Chili (which is phenomenal, especially with a little help from Frank).  We also picked up some strawberries, cantaloupe, blueberries, and even a mango (for good measure, LOL).  Everything is already pre-programmed into the "MyFoods" part of the Meal Logger on my Gadget companies' website.  I could probably actually log them now, in about the quantity that I'll eat, and not be too far off come tomorrow.  But that defeats the purpose of having at least some temptation and being able to overcome it, so I'll hold off and do it in real time like I normally do. 


I may even jump on the elliptical prior to the game.


We shall see.  Still 314 today.  Not too concerned- a solid 5 pounds for the week, and I'm happy.  The trick is to not have that attitude extend past the weekend. 


In workout news, the Circuit on Power90 really treated me well this morning.  My wife says it is because I was an athlete, and lifting weights comes naturally.  She may be right.  The kids left me alone long enough to get through it, and I managed to do all of the exercises without having to stop.  At one point, I was actually ahead of the video.  I must remember to go slow- I'm used to the power movements to build size and strength, not this "sculpting" stuff.  In general, I love the Circuit.  I DREAD the cardio.  Sunday is my day off from the Power90 program, so Monday I'm back at it. 


Still on track, still in the zone.  Rock and Roll.

Sorepocalypse NOW!!

Okay, so the plan called for two-a-days to start Wednesday.  They started today.  The Power90 workout is fun, it's fast-paced, and it involves body movements that I haven't done in a looooong time. 


And of course, I couldn't take it easy (Mistake #1).


And of course, I was up at 5:00 am to do the first work out, and it didn't occur to me to make sure I was doing the CORRECT one, so I inadvertently did the cardio one first, instead of the circuit.  Not all bad, since the elliptical work should have gotten me close.  It didn't.  So I'm sore.  (Mistake #2).


MORE IMPORTANTLY, the "AbRipper100" end to the cardio session deserves a comment.  I think I mentioned my "front porch" previously.  The AR-100 is 10 exercises@10 reps each for 100 total, ab-ripping reps enacted on a lump of clay? BAD idea.  Actually, it's a good idea, but it had some interesting aftereffects, such as a full stomach wall cramp for what felt like ages. 


When I was younger, I remember a guy at a Powerhouse Gym telling me about "this huge fat dude" who came in post-New Year's to start fulfilling his resolutions. Half-way through his first 100 reps on a decline bench doing sit-ups, he tore his abdominal wall, and the gym had to call an ambulance.  I think I felt a little of what that guy did- my gut was cramped down like a piece of concrete.  Then, it would release for a second, I'd go to move toward the kitchen, and BLAMMO, cramp again.  Terrible stuff.  But I got through it.  And I did the AbRipper100 again today.  No cramping.  Heck yeah.  I still have a keg instead of a six pack, but it's a start!


One "Human Interest" point for this post: I've been forcing myself to watch "The Biggest Loser" and "Fat Chef."  Since Biggest Loser debuted, I have refused to watch it for a variety of reasons (mostly, because I hate reality TV, but that's the only sort of real excuse).  The real reason, I now believe, is that I was in denial that I could have been a participant on that show without any trouble.  Watching the first couple of episodes and the initial weigh-ins dispelled that myth.  I was 342- I could have been one of the "largest competitors, capable of putting up 'huge numbers' each week for my team."  Damn. Oh well, I have awoken.  The day is new.  And I am not going back.


And so: three days into two-a-days, and I got one done (tonight), but I'm on track again- and I DID keep everything on track diet-wise, and the results should speak for themselves:


Day 12, Weight: 314.2 lbs (-28.2 lbs).  Booya!